lot of people asked me to include a description of myself and other info, so to help everyone understand me better, like I can figure me out - ya right! - I will try as best I can.
In the beginning there was nothing except for a tiny dot and it bleu up  - oops' a little to far back, sorry,

Ok seriously now, I first started noticing I was different than other boys in first grade, could have been kindergarten but my mind just gets flashes of that year, any way a friend of mine said how come you carry your books like a girl?, I really hadn't thought of how I should carry my books but he insisted I did it the wrong way, I would cradle them like a girl, so he showed me to hold them down, how strange, not near natural for me, thank GOD for back packs.
I liked playing with dolls to, but GI Joe was all I would get, rats!
Not much later I tried on my mom's slip, and other under garments, felt so natural that I wondered why I had to where these silly shorts and shirts, but that's what boys ware, rats again.
I absolutely hated sports, except foot ball the guys where such hunks :)
since I felt so much different than I was supposed to I literally threw myself into being a man, me macho, ya right!, again.
I was small, short, thin, week, and played foot ball like a mad man, ouch!
Well then I figured I will prove all the people that called me fag, queer, pussy, wrong and up and got married at 18, STUPID!
I wont go into the gory details of my marriage for 6-1/2 yr.. or the horrendous divorce, but to say the least it hurt to the bone, suicide was a common thought hour by hour, so to was alcohol, got over both thank GOD.
As with most Transgendered people I would go though binges of getting female clothing then in a bout of self consciousness through them out, very costly therapy, As time went on I realized it's not the clothing that bothered me but my face, and body, they where wrong, ugly, distorted, I'm still camera shy to this day, but it wasn't the looks that really bugged me but the gender, why wasn't I born a female?

Friends on the net ask what I look like, hmmm, A self portrait of me in words, well It just ant fair folks, still don't like how I look, I may never so here we go.
I'm 5'7" 46 yr.. old girl (feel more like 35), blonde Dark or Dirty Blonde) hair (brunet wig, hence I refer to it as my AI - artificial intelligence, I also have a blonde one, more like me), green eyes - the cats think I'm one of them, (he he) , measurements are 40A-36-38 (not bad but I would like to improve them alot), I am an X cigarette smoker (3year 8+ mo. now), no drugs at all, alcohol- on special occasions. I like foot ball still a little, the bears are my team, poor me!, I also like canoeing, bikes- motor cycles, computers, all kinds of animals, herbal and natural cures, vitamins, nice people, driving REALLY FAST, and I'm very open minded, caring loving, and tender girl, I tend to get hurt rather easily and I avoid fighting as much as possible.

I have a firm and steadfast love and belief in JESUS CHRIST, check out my view on this.
Ok there I said it yup I'm a Christian, please don't freak out about it I sure don't, you are who you are, you believe in what you believe, I wont tread on you so as a nice person I ask you to do the same for me.
I guess it's a paradox , a Transsexual being a Christian, but really it's not, just allot of "religious" folks get the act of sex and sexuality mixed up, with knowledge there can be hope, I have had a strange life compared to the folks that have been born to the gender they are hence we are our life's experiences and I'm no exception.
I go to Church and I pray, just like all the others with one major exception , one prayer is that everyone can learn to accept each other as they are and love there fellow human beings as much as they love themselves, hmm sounds very similar to something JESUS said.

Well I guess that's enough for one setting, lord knows I could fill a book, but that will have to wait, look for other pages as time goes bye
In closing this page I wish you well and above all LOVE.